


Broken

by SRassier



Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: Diego witnesses Five have a meltdown in the kitchen. What in the world could have finally broken the time traveling assassin?
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s), Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610194
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> One shot set in the "Five and Delores Sitting in a Tree Universe. Please read if you haven't...it's a wild ride if I do say so myself.
> 
> What you need to know:  
> Everyone is now 30-ish  
> Five and Delores have five kids. 3 year old twins and 1 year old triplets.  
> Diego is married to Delores' sister.

Diego reached into the fridge and grabbed a yogurt, deciding that it was best not to ruin his appetite on Klaus’ night to cook. Ever since they all decided to become a real family, his screw up brother had become quite the chef. Between classes at the community center and Youtube videos, he was willing to try everything…and everything was amazing.

As he opened the drawer to grab a spoon, the door to the kitchen flew open and slammed against the wall. He turned to scold whoever was the culprit but when he laid eyes on Five he changed his mind. Disheveled was not a strong enough word for how his brother looked. His normally coifed hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes, and he shuffled into the room like he hadn’t slept in days. 

This was pretty normal of late. Even with the added help of all that lived in the mansion, Five and Delores had their hands full with their brood. Twin 3 year olds and 1 year old triplets will keep you on your toes. “Hey bro…you good?”

Five walked over to Diego and nearly fell into him as he grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close. “I spent 45 years living in a post apocalyptic waste land, struggling to survive on what little water I could find and expired canned goods.” His eyes got wide and Diego felt that he was witnessing the moment when his brother finally cracked. “I worked as a time traveling assassin where I took the lives of so many people innocent and otherwise, I lost count. Me. A mathematical genius…lost count.”

Diego could do nothing but stare into Five’s wild eyes as he continued not only his ranting, but his assault on Diego’s shirt. “I went back to the evil organization to save my family and their promise of five years of service turned into 11 years of torture…actual torture.”   
“Five.” Diego reached up to peel his brother’s hands off of his shirt. Once free, he watched his brother turn to put his elbows on the counter and drop his head into his hands. “What’s going on?”  
“I can’t do it.” Five mumbled into his hands. “I’m finally broken. They broke me.”  
“Who?”

Before Five could answer, the door opened and he saw Five visibly shudder as he heard the voices of his twin daughters call out in sync, “Daddy!”  
He slowly turned to the girls, looking at them as if they were straight from the Shining. “Hey…you found me!”  
“Come on Daddy,” Lily called out as Rose ran up to him and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go watch Frozen again!”  
Diego watched on as Five was dragged out of the kitchen. 

As the trio walked out, Melissa passed by and replaced them in Diego’s sight. “Hi babe.” She walked up and stood on her tip toes to give her husband a swift kiss on the cheek. “I have to head to the store…do you need anything?”  
Diego contemplated the scene he just witnessed and the sweet woman standing in front of him before saying with the utmost confidence… “Condoms.”


End file.
